Something Wrong with the Clicker

Q: What should one do if he’s dating a girl who has money, looks, and personality, but there’s no “chemistry”?

A: He should marry her — because there is something wrong with his clicker. Every normal man can fall in love with a good-looking girl. If he can’t fall — especially if she has middos and money, too — then there is something wrong with him.

The truth is that you can love most girls. Hashem made it so that men love women. Unless something is very wrong. But if she’s likable and personable, then something is wrong with him. Therefore, he should close his eyes and dive in. He should make up his mind that that’s the girl for him.

Now, we have to understand that this “special feeling” is mostly the result of propaganda. The world has been fooled into thinking that there is a certain magic moment when something happens within you and you know that this is the right person.

If you read about the careers of movie actors — today it’s this one, next month it’s somebody else — these “magic moments” repeat themselves constantly, and they are nothing but deceptions. What’s the magic moment in buying a house? When you look at a house, does something click within you and tell you that’s the right house? Then beware — because you might discover that there’s no wiring in that house. You might discover that the house is rotten through and through with termites! You can’t buy a house based on intuition. You need experts. You must pay good money and have an expert examine the house from the roof to the basement.

Marriage should also be based on the expert opinions of others. Then it’s not your feelings. Of course, if you feel a repulsion, you can’t marry that person. But if you don’t have any particular objection to the other party, and all considerations are discovered to be proper — for instance, their families and backgrounds and tastes are similar — then it’s an ideal opportunity. If you feel comfortable then, you’ll feel comfortable together for the rest of your lives. But if you married by intuition, then the day after the marriage that feeling will disappear, and you’ll feel uncomfortable for the rest of your lives.